The breast time in my life is when I was breastfeeding.
The best way to get over the fear of dancing in public is to wear a blindfold. Everyone will be too scared of your moves to want to watch you.
My psychiatrist diagnosed me as a television with static coming out of it.
Overdosing on ex-lax is a pretty shitty way to die.
Meditation is the only good form of procrastination.
I just went to the hospital and asked for every vaccine possible. They asked if I was a hypochondriac but I told them I just wanted Autism.
What is it called when Sigmund Freud doesn’t show up? A Freudian Skip.