When I was a kid I had a really bad habit of stealing anything I could get my hands on. My Grandma always wondered why she was always losing her dentures.
I had a dream that I was showering with my mom right on her birthday. I hope that wasn’t my subconscious mind’s sick idea of a birthday present.
I want to become a wealthy entrepreneur without doing any work. So I decided to open a key making business for my family and friends. Now their houses are empty and I am rich.
I accidentally dropped a condom in the casket at my grandmother’s funeral. One of my uncles said she must be preparing to get lucky with god.
My family thinks I have a stallion living in my stomach because I’m always eating for a horse.
I’m going to become a family heirloom when I die because I’m going to get stuffed by a taxidermist.
In 1940, the most common way to meet a romantic partner was through family because you were already related to them.