When you rob a store wearing a balaclava you’re a sock puppet.
I was robbed at knife point and the guy stole my girlfriend. I ran the other way and she stayed there and then left with him.
I only use drugs socially so I never have to pay for them.
When a car thief steals someones car, it’s car pooling.
Prison inmates are complaining that it’s impossible to jailbreak their cell phones behind bars.