Real assault weapons don’t fire bullets they hit people.
Beer spills is a bar fight where everyone is using liquor bottles as a weapon.
I love my middle finger. It sticks up for me in fights.
When a guy tries to fight me by kicking me, I pull out my best weapon and cut him up with my sharp toe nails.
People say I fight like a girl because I spend the whole time trying to put my short hair in a pony tail.
I have a bad habit of going to the bar and getting in a fight with my pillow. It always ends with feathers everywhere and a pillow with no life left.